An Unexpected Visit
by R.J. Ames
Summary: Ten years after their breakup, Benezia pays Aethyta a visit. They try to work through some of the tension caused by their failed relationship. Rated M for language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1: Aethyta

**Disclaimer**

I do not own any of the characters or storylines from the Mass Effect Universe.

**Author's Note**

I wasn't going to post this one because I'm actually quite self-conscious about it (and I may remove it once I lose my nerve). But at the very least, this forces me to do a final edit :)

I wrote this back in October/November for the kmeme. The original prompt was for a story about Aethyta and Benezia's breakup. (Some chapters may be inappropriate for some readers, but they will be marked accordingly.)

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Aethyta was in bed, alone. She finally had to acknowledge that this had become a bad habit—one she needed to break, and fast.

It had been almost a decade since Nezzy left. Sure, she'd had a few quick lays since then, early on. Like an idiot, they'd all been asari, reminding her just enough of what she really wanted that it's that much more frustrating when it falls short. She should have gone for turians, or krogan, or maybe even elcor. She remembered liking elcor. And now, although she didn't like to admit it (and wouldn't if you asked), it had been quite a few years since she'd taken anyone to bed.

Not that this dry spell had anything to do with Nezzy. These things just happen every once in a while. Besides, a few years isn't even that long when you were nearly a thousand years old.

Yeah… ok, it was really starting to get to her. There was only so much satisfaction you could get from your own hand after a while. She had to admit that it was high time she had a real cock in her mouth, or a tongue on her clit, or at least some nice tits (that weren't her own) in her hands. Something. Anything.

Aethyta cursed and finally threw off the covers. She was obviously not falling asleep anytime soon. She walked through her dark apartment to the small alcove she called a kitchen. Taking down a glass from the cupboard, she sat on a stool by the counter. The stool was cold on her bare ass. Didn't matter—she'd be warming up soon enough.

It was somewhere between the third or fourth glass of elasa that the doorbell rang.

Aethyta guessed she better get dressed. She considered not answering, but she thought it just might be that turian who lived down the hall—the one with the nice ass who'd been bugging her lately. Maybe she could even solve her little problem tonight.

She didn't want to scare the kid away by answering her door naked, but she thought she'd better give him something to look at. So she dressed in something she felt was appropriately slutty, and went to answer the door.

"Shit," was all Aethyta could say when she saw who it was.

"Hello," Benezia said.

This was unexpected. So was the hot jolt that started in her gut and shot right between her legs.

"Am I… interrupting?" Benezia asked.

For a very brief moment, Aethyta was glad that Nezzy wasn't interrupting anything. Then she thought about it, and desperately wished she was.

"Shit," Aethyta said once again.

At least Nezzy had the decency not to stare too long at her outfit. In fact, for a second she looked a little unsure of herself. Aethyta couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her look like that. Maybe that was the reason she stepped aside to let her into the apartment. Or maybe she was just more drunk than she thought.

Aethyta led Nezzy through the apartment to the kitchen, still sort of half-stunned at the sharp turn her night had just taken.

"You want a drink?" Aethyta asked.

"Sure," Nezzy said.

She guessed tonight was just full of surprises—Nezzy was never one to drink. She pulled down an empty glass and filled it before topping off her own.

Shit was right. Nezzy looked good.

But the whole thing was just messing with Aethyta in all kinds of ways. Besides the slight throbbing between her thighs, she now had a tight knot right inside her chest that felt like it wanted to burst.

Sure, seeing Nezzy brought back all sorts of memories of laughter and sex: of playing with those tits as Nezzy tried to work, or of making suggestive gestures behind the holo when Nezzy was on vid calls. Or, Aethyta's personal favourite: the time she had gone to the Citadel on one of Nezzy's business trips and had snuck into the anteroom where she was waiting for the councilor—surprisingly, it had been as easy as paying off Tevos' attaché to take an early lunch. And Aethyta had to give credit where credit was due: Tevos always was one classy broad, and recovered like a pro when she walked in just as they were hitting the last shuddering wave of their shared orgasm. Nezzy had been horribly embarrassed, but Aethyta had considered the whole thing a huge success.

But seeing Nezzy tonight also brought back memories of anger and contempt. Nezzy's cold logic was always what got to Aethyta the most. Especially during those last few years, their arguments became a test of willpower for the both of them, with Aethyta screaming and yelling the most outrageous and profane things just to break Nezzy's calm. Sometimes she did, leaving Nezzy either in tears or in a state of uncontained rage, during which she'd say the meanest things, just to take them back the next day. Aethyta had considered those times, when Nezzy broke down, as also something of a success, even though they left her without any sort of satisfaction.

And then Nezzy left. There wasn't some big final blowout that really left everything on the line; one day, she was just gone. She barely even took anything from their house. Just herself, their unborn child, and more than a little piece of Aethyta's heart. There was no note, no messages, not a single word. Not then, not after.

Until now. Until she has the quad to just show up without warning after a decade without contact. And _still_ Nezzy wasn't saying anything. She was just standing there awkwardly in Aethyta's kitchen, staring at her glass.

Why wasn't Nezzy saying something at least?

"So… how's the kid?" Aethyta said, no longer able to take the awkward silence. And what else do you say to someone who up and left you after over a century together?

"She is doing well... Liara, her name is Liara," Benezia said.

No shit. Aethyta already knew the name of her own damn kid. She still had friends in Armali. It didn't matter that Nezzy had left before their daughter was born.

She glared at Nezzy, waiting for some sort of further explanation, but none came. Well, she had guessed that Nezzy hadn't come all the way here, unannounced, to tell her about the last time their daughter had the sniffles.

… Or to tell her about her first steps, or her first word, or—shit. Nezzy could have at least sent her some sort of message in the last ten years. _Hey, I had the kid. She's blue. _That would have been enough. Well, not enough, but it would have been something.

But still, Nezzy just stood there. If she was going to play it like that, fine. Two can play that game. Aethyta wasn't about to prostrate herself in front of Nezzy for a few simple updates just because she shows up out of nowhere.

She continued to watch Nezzy in silence, the very odd mixture of emotions still confusing her body. Aethyta began to think that Nezzy really was just going to stand there doing nothing all night, when she watched her then swirl the green liquid a few times in her glass and down the whole thing in just a few gulps. Nezzy leaned forward on the counter as she placed the glass down, and Aethyta had to wonder if she didn't do it on purpose because damned if she didn't now have the best view of Nezzy's rack. And what a rack it was.


	2. Chapter 2: Benezia

Of course Benezia should have expected that Aethyta would ask about Liara. It now seemed silly to her that Aethyta's simple question had thrown her so off balance, and she cringed at her own answer as soon as it escaped her lips. But what should she say? Should she talk about the cute way Liara's nose crinkles up when she laughs? The way her eyes shine when she learns something new? Should she really begin to list all of those exact things that have brought her such consummate joy over the years that she had denied Aethyta the pleasure of knowing? It just seemed so cruel.

So instead she tried to seek solace at the bottom of her glass, as she asked herself, not for the first time this evening, why she'd come.

She was only in town for a few days, lending her own impressive name to a list of Thessia's most powerful matriarchs who were gathering for a conference to discuss problems of social change. No one expected any broad sweeping reform to be determined over the next few days; rather, these conferences were held more for the purpose of backroom politics, reinforcing ties with one's allies and ingratiating oneself to those unfortunately necessary periphery players whose political decisions over the years seem to be determined more by whim than any real ideological values. Benezia would not be immodest to say that she was particularly accomplished at this aspect of her work, a feat which made the real politicking, which took place in policy chat rooms once the matriarchs returned to their respective cities and towns, infinitely easier.

This meant Benezia was well aware that, despite the myriad speeches that have been prepared and the critical debates they would inspire, the majority of the most politically significant discussions were had at informal luncheons, or over drinks and the like. Benezia's absence from the day's many social gatherings, therefore, would have been rather conspicuous, and she knew it.

But she had been experiencing all day an uncharacteristic nervousness. It had started as soon as she had arrived for the conference and one of the other matriarchs had inadvertently brought up Aethyta's name. Upon further questioning, she had found out that her former bondmate was living in this very city, and had been for the last few years.

Benezia knew that it would be simple enough to avoid Aethyta, who had given up attending such things long ago. Her nerves, therefore, were frayed by another idea entirely; something quite the opposite, in fact.

Benezia was instead possessed by a sudden and inexplicable urge to see her former bondmate—an urge that she knew would be against all better judgement to fulfill.

Yet, it seems that she had done just that. She wasn't exactly sure when (or how? or why?) she had decided this was a good idea. Instead of attending the conference's opening brunch, she had spent the morning fussing over Liara as she wallowed in indecision. She almost missed one of the afternoon panels as she searched for Aethyta's new address. And this evening, after putting Liara to bed and leaving her in the care of her closest acolytes, she had not circulated amongst the many various banquets and galas, but had instead gone for a walk, her feet taking her to where she must have known they would: right up to Aethyta's doorstep.

Certainly, Benezia reassured herself, she had no intention of renewing her relationship with Aethyta—she had plenty enough reason not to do that. But she felt the now familiar pain inside her chest as she couldn't help but think about the day that she had left. At the time, Benezia had been so consumed by the crushing realisation that their relationship was not working—that if it didn't end then, she was sure it would twenty or thirty years down the line, just when their daughter would be at that most impressionable age. Benezia had been so decisive, then: she thought she knew Aethyta would never end it, so it had been up to her. And she thought somehow that quick meant painless. How wrong she'd been.

Why, then, she had come here, where she had a greater chance of reopening old wounds than helping any heal, she couldn't say. But once she had arrived, part of her knew why she stayed. As soon as the apartment door opened and she was greeted by that wonderful, familiar scent—a curious mix of musk and spice—she could feel something tugging at her very centre that told her to stay. She had forgotten about that scent, so entwined as it was in their lives and home that even by the time they made promises to bind their lives together, it barely stood out. That it struck Benezia so strongly tonight spoke of how wholly their lives were now separate.

Still, it tugged at her, with memories of happiness and love, now coupled with loss and regret, and so she stayed. She stayed through Aethyta's obvious discomfort. She stayed through the anger behind Aethyta's words and glare. And she stayed now, not even quite yet steeled by her first drink, with the vague and vain hope she might get what she came here for. What that was, she still couldn't say.

Tentatively, she tore her eyes away from the glass on the counter to look at Aethyta once more, expecting to see reproach or anger once again. Instead, Benezia looked up in time to see Aethyta's eyes quickly dart up to meet her own. Knowing her former bondmate so well, she knew exactly where Aethyta had just been looking, and it took not an insignificant amount of willpower for Benezia to suppress the small smile that had suddenly begun to play with the very edges of her lips.

Aethyta busied herself with refilling her glass. Standing as close as she was, Benezia could feel Aethyta's warmth across the empty space between them. She had become, since having Liara, perhaps a little unused to social cues used outside of mothering and politics, but she thought Aethyta was standing a little closer than was absolutely necessary. Despite herself, the thought made Benezia's heart quicken.

"I lost track of you when you moved away from Armali," Benezia said into the silence that had now stretched far beyond awkward.

"Didn't know you were keeping track," Aethyta answered, although she didn't sound too surprised.

"I… wanted to know you were alright."

"Didn't know you cared."

The words stung slightly, although Benezia felt she deserved it, and probably much worse. But she also thought she saw in Aethyta's answer a certain practiced indifference, which gave her some hope.

"Of course I care," she replied, daring to place what she hoped was a comforting hand on Aethyta's arm. But she heard a slight hitch in Aethyta's breath at the touch, and she could swear that she felt the atmosphere change in the room. Though try as she might, Benezia couldn't pull her hand away.


	3. Chapter 3: Aethyta

Booze always did go straight to Aethyta's crotch. There was no other reason why her body would respond so quickly to such a simple touch. And there was no doubt about it: the slight throbbing between her thighs had turned into something more than just a little bit distracting.

Maybe this meant that she should stop drinking before she did something stupid.

And what was Nezzy talking about? Something about keeping track of her? Well, Aethyta had found that interesting, but she hadn't wanted to show it. But now she would have to mull the whole thing over later, because at the moment, Nezzy's hand was still on her arm and what Aethyta really wanted was to figure out a way to get that hand to move to other, more… interesting places.

Wait. Wasn't she supposed to be angry? Aethyta tried to remind herself that this was the person who had tossed her aside, who had broken her heart; the person who thought her love wasn't enough. And now Nezzy was saying she cared?

"Could've fooled me," Aethyta said as she tried to fix Nezzy with a cold stare, but her heart wasn't in it.

"I know," Nezzy began, as she moved her hand up Aethyta's arm to gently squeeze her shoulder. "And I—" Nezzy started again, but stopped short, looking slightly confused as she seemed to take in the full view of Aethyta for the first time this evening. "What are you _wearing_?" she asked, a look of bemusement now on her face.

Shit. Aethyta had forgotten that she was wearing that ridiculous dress. That damn turian.

"Oh… I was just…uh, expecting someone else," Aethyta finally replied, which was more or less true.

"Oh," Nezzy said in a small voice, as she let her hand drop back down to her side, not seeming to notice Aethyta's own embarrassment, much to Aethyta's relief.

In fact, after the initial rush of relief, part of Aethyta was even smugly satisfied with the look of deflation written all over Nezzy's face and body. But it was an admittedly small part, because mostly, Aethyta was just kicking herself for causing the loss of that simple touch and wanted a way to get it back.

Goddess, Aethyta needed a drink. She took another sip of the elasa but found it distinctly unsatisfying. Tonight was a night if ever there was one that was in dire need of the good stuff.

Nezzy leaned once again on the counter and began to fiddle with her own glass, staring at it as her hands turned it around and around. She then took a deep breath in, and said, without looking up, "Aethyta… I wanted you to know that—"

Barely paying attention to what Nezzy was saying, Aethyta started to move further into the small alcove towards the liquor cabinet.

"What are you doing?" Nezzy asked, clearly distracted from her little speech.

Sure, there were ways to get to the liquor cabinet that didn't involve squeezing past Nezzy. But then she would've missed Nezzy's surprised jump at the feeling of the front of Aethyta's hips brushing by her ass. After her initial surprise, Nezzy turned around to watch as Aethyta searched for the right booze. And sure, Aethyta could've stayed where she was in the small alcove once she had retrieved the tall, amber bottle, but that would've meant denying herself the opportunity of pressing into Nezzy's body again on her way back.

And it was that much more satisfying on the way back because now that Nezzy had turned around, they were firmly pressed front to front.

Aethyta didn't care that there was maybe a little more room in the tiny kitchen than her movements suggested. She also didn't even seem to notice that she wasn't bothering to try to move past the obstacle of Nezzy's body. She did notice, however, that a distinct purple blush had suddenly come to Nezzy's cheeks, and she was almost positive that it was the good kind.

"Better booze," Aethyta finally answered, holding the bottle up as her proof somewhat awkwardly in the almost non-existent space between them before reaching past Nezzy to place it down on the counter. But she still stayed where she was, liking this new found contact with the beautiful, warm body in front of her. It was official: she was definitely more drunk than she thought.

"I see," Nezzy said with only a passing glance at the bottle, her voice slightly breathy. Aethyta could feel the slight graze of Nezzy's chest against her own with every inhale she took. With every breath, new images came to Aethyta's mind—the things she wanted to do with that mouth, to those tits—

Nezzy began to shift her weight slightly, and Aethyta realised that it was now or never. She leaned in slowly, but without hesitation, and took Nezzy's lips in hers for a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4: Benezia

Benezia stiffened at the feeling of Aethyta's lips pressing into her own. This was wrong. She gripped the edge of the counter behind her as she leaned away from the kiss.

She felt scattered. Benezia had felt that she should say something of substance to Aethyta now that she was here. She thought that perhaps if she just started talking, the right words would come out. But every movement Aethyta made distracted her. And goddess, that dress. She couldn't believe that she had been so absorbed in her own thoughts that she hadn't seen it the second she was greeted at the apartment door. And to think that Aethyta had put it on with someone else in mind. Benezia swallowed the slight pang of jealousy that had risen in her throat, embarrassed and guilty that it had been there at all.

Benezia should have stopped Aethyta before she leaned in for the kiss. Persistence was something Aethyta had never lacked—it was at times equally endearing as it was problematic. Aethyta only hesitated a moment when Benezia leaned away before simply pulling her closer and continuing the kiss. And it was not just Aethyta's persistence that gave good reason to stop all of this before it started, because it didn't take long for Benezia to start kissing back.

Ever since the very first day they met, Benezia had never been very good at saying no to Aethyta. They had met as matrons when they'd found themselves with adjacent seats on a commercial spacecraft traveling from Serrice to Nos Astra. Benezia had been flying in to attend a few social events, mostly to build working relationships with other matrons who seemed to show the most political promise, knowing that such connections would be vital centuries down the line.

Despite her mind being on her work, Benezia had been looking forward to a little down time on the flight. She usually derived a great amount of joy from conversing with strangers, from the lighthearted banter that helps navigate towards common interests and values, to the secrets unburdened with a comfort that seems only to exist in the presence of a kind, anonymous face.

However, Benezia had cursed the Universe when she had first seen the asari in the seat next to hers. Her rakish grin was off-putting, but what irked Benezia the most was that she made no effort whatsoever to hide the way she ran her eyes over Benezia's body with an appreciative gaze. Benezia had had no intention of encouraging such a person. She thought she knew the type—that she'd be forced to listen to vulgar jokes and bad pickup lines for the duration of the flight.

Benezia hadn't been completely wrong, but there was also something in Aethyta that she found surprisingly attractive and intriguing.

Looking back, it seemed almost surreal to Benezia that nearing the end of the flight, she had agreed to meet Aethyta in the restroom at the back of the spacecraft. Had Benezia not been there herself, she wasn't sure she'd have believed it. But sure enough, as they landed, there she was, pushed up against the wall, eyes swirling black, with Aethyta's hand between her thighs. Even as a maiden, Benezia had never been so impulsive; there was something undoubtedly intoxicating about Aethyta.

Just as she had that day, Benezia could now feel her inhibitions withering away under Aethyta's advances, no matter how simple or clumsy those advances might be. Benezia parted her lips to deepen the kiss, and finally let go of the counter behind her and brought her own hands up to feel Aethyta's slim hips and waist. This time, it was not the novelty of Aethyta's unique charm in which Benezia was quickly losing herself, as it had been the first time they met. No, it was the fact that she knew Aethyta so well that was causing Benezia to so quickly ignore her better judgement. The taste of Aethyta's lips and tongue, although slightly tinged with alcohol, flooded her body with memories of pleasures past, to a time when Benezia had found herself in a position that she had never thought she would: bonded, and to one of her own kind no less.

Their relationship had started in earnest when the two had finally met once again, centuries after their little restroom tryst. Aethyta had been just as forward; it seemed that becoming a matriarch had done nothing to temper her impulsiveness or spontaneity. But hidden beneath a carefree countenance, Benezia could see tired eyes and a soul that was slightly sadder than the time she'd seen it last. They threw their lives together quickly and completely, and Benezia had been so sure that she was the one who could provide the love that Aethyta seemed to need and that she without question deserved. And Benezia _had_ loved her. But she'd hurt her, too.

Benezia felt Aethyta push their hips together more firmly, the unexpected pressure sending a shiver down her spine. Benezia almost let out a whimper of frustration. She thought of all the promises she had made as she slipped a bracelet onto Aethyta's wrist the day of their official bonding. She thought of how she'd cried, only a century later, when she had left her own bracelet on the nightstand for Aethyta to find when she got home. But now her body didn't care; it was much more than willing to take its pleasure from the very person whom she had hurt so much.

Benezia pulled away once more. "Wait—just… wait," she said, an audible tremble in her voice that was not derived from frustration or self-loathing, as she thought it should; instead, she knew, her voice shook in an effort to contain what was undeniably arousal.

Aethyta had always been rather impatient, so it should not have surprised Benezia that her words were met with only the briefest of pauses. While Benezia took the time away from the kiss to close her eyes and catch her breath, she could already feel Aethyta begin to tease her nipples through the fabric of her dress. It began with the simplest of grazes across each breast. If it had been anyone other than Aethyta, Benezia might have thought the initial touch an accident. Of course, Benezia knew better, and besides, she didn't have to wait long before she could feel Aethyta begin to trace more purposeful circles just across where the dress was most taut. She felt her nipples stiffen at the touch, all hope of regaining control of her body, lost.

She opened her eyes to see Aethyta gazing down at her breasts, the glassy look of desire painted over her face. Benezia let out a small gasp of pleasure at the slight pinch and twist Aethyta gave to each tip that she had teased forth, and with it, Benezia became completely undone. She slipped a hand amongst the peaks of Aethyta's crest, pulling her in for another kiss. It was deep and hard and rough, and Benezia could feel the low groan in Aethyta's chest through the kiss as she pulled them into an almost crushing embrace.


	5. Chapter 5: Aethyta

**[Warning: ****SMUT****. **Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I should say that if pregnant matriarchs aren't your thing, you may want to skip the last largish paragraph near the end of this chapter.**]**

Aethyta was definitely in need of a real, honest-to-goodness fuck. She told herself that it could've been anyone who walked through that door; Goddess, on a night like tonight, it could've been her great uncle Garl and she still would've given it serious thought. Well, maybe that's going a bit too far, what with his weird extra hump, but it felt so damn good to have the warmth of another body pressed up against hers. That that body happened to have the best rack in Citadel space was an added bonus. An added bonus that she sure as hell wasn't going to let go to waste.

So when Nezzy told her to wait, Aethyta chose to steadfastly ignore the brief flash of panic that rose in her throat, and instead took the moment as an opportunity. She became quickly engrossed in her new task.

Aethyta has had her eyes, hands, and mouth all over those tits countless times over the years, so she knew them quite well. But tonight there was something about the way Nezzy's dress showed them off just enough that left Aethyta with such an intense desire to see what was hidden underneath, it was as if she had never seen them before in her life. The idea alone excited Aethyta to no end, as she imagined peeling Nezzy out of that dress nice and slow, pulling it down bit by bit to reveal the nipples that she was still teasing through the cloth.

Under her hands, Aethyta could feel and see Nezzy's elevated breath, and could tell that she was quickly losing control. Still, the urgency and need with which Nezzy pulled her into the kiss surprised Aethyta, sending a shock of heat through her body.

Sliding her hands down Nezzy's torso, Aethyta pulled her even closer and began to make her way out of the tiny kitchen and towards the bedroom; she wanted more room to manoeuvre, and although she wasn't past making do with small and cramped spaces for a good lay, there was a nice big bed just down the hall that she wasn't about to let go to waste. So they began to make their way down the short hallway in little spurts, Aethyta not quite yet willing to give up the feeling of Nezzy's tongue against hers, or the satisfying grip she now had on Nezzy's ass.

Their kiss was far rougher than their usual kisses, but Aethyta liked it. There was something about the way Nezzy used her teeth to tug on Aethyta's lower lip that awoke an intense need within her that she hadn't felt in a long time. Suddenly, Aethyta couldn't care less about peeling that dress off nice and slow—she just wanted it off, and the sooner the better. She reached around Nezzy's back and began tugging at the zipper of the dress. Even though Aethyta didn't take the time to relish it, she still felt a new rush of moisture between her own legs at the act of stripping Nezzy down to the nude.

"Fucking magnificent," Aethyta muttered at the sight of Nezzy's bare breasts. All thought of making it to the bedroom escaped Aethyta for a moment, as she cupped a breast in each hand, feeling their weight before roughly palming each, and backing Nezzy against the wall of the narrow hallway.

Using her bodyweight to pin Nezzy to the wall, Aethyta sunk her fingers into that soft flesh, the hard peaks of Nezzy's nipples rubbing against her palms. As Aethyta continued her rough massaging, she vaguely thought about just how many people have wondered, but would never know, what it would be like to touch Nezzy's breasts like this when they saw that soft, tempting blue flesh exposed above that low neckline. She found the thought surprisingly arousing.

Ever since the day she first laid eyes on Nezzy, she'd found that rack absolutely irresistible. And Aethyta had been that much more excited to learn that Nezzy got just as much enjoyment out of them as she did. Aethyta bent down slightly to graze her teeth across the fleshy upper part of one of Nezzy's breasts before roughly pushing it up and taking its stiffened tip in her mouth. She sucked once, hard.

"Goddess," Nezzy hissed as she brought a hand to the back of Aethyta's head, holding her there with a harsh grip on her crest.

Aethyta chuckled softly, her breath coming out hot so close to the skin she had just left moist from her lips. "I bet I could make you come just like this," she said, an extra rasp in her gravelly voice. As if to show Nezzy exactly what she had in mind, Aethyta took the nipple back in her mouth, holding it lightly between her teeth as she gave a small tug and flicked her tongue across its tip.

"Yes," was all Nezzy could muster as a shaky response, but she managed to loosen her grip on Aethyta's crest.

Turning her attention to Nezzy's other breast, Aethyta began kissing more softly, allowing her lips to graze just lightly across the blue skin, enjoying the way Nezzy was writhing beneath her. But Nezzy's fingers had worked their way to that spot below the peaks of Aethyta's crest, where she knew Aethyta was particularly sensitive. As Nezzy teased that spot with light, circular strokes, Aethyta was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on her task.

Soon, the dress Aethyta was wearing felt stiflingly hot. She stood up and twisted her arms around her own back to undo her dress, unable to focus any longer with so many sensations bombarding her body. After a few tries, she let out a small curse—how she had ever gotten into that damn thing, she had no idea. Of course, she'd been slightly more sober then, and a hell of a lot less distracted.

She was grateful, then, that Nezzy brought her hands up to feel for the clasp, and in one smooth motion, undid the dress and let it fall to the ground. Aethyta was completely naked under the dress, and she paused for only a moment before pressing herself up against Nezzy's body—she wanted every available inch of their skin to be touching at once. If Nezzy was at all disappointed with the attention now drawn away from her breasts, Aethyta didn't notice. She was much too preoccupied with the rising heat in her own body as she bit and sucked at the base of Nezzy's neck, the deep purple marks already starting to show.

The taste of Nezzy's flesh in her mouth, the feeling of skin against skin, of hearts pounding against one another, was almost too much: the unrelenting pressure that had been building between Aethyta's legs was now practically screaming for release. She rocked her hips into Nezzy's with a little more force, but it wasn't enough to offer the promise of relief. But before Aethyta could voice the impatient groan that she could feel beginning at the base of her gut, Nezzy offered a thigh into which she promptly and unabashedly began to grind her hips. Her breath came out wet and heavy against Nezzy's neck, the feeling of Nezzy's hands grasping at her back and shoulders, egging her on.

Aethyta was embarrassingly close. But she pulled up short—even though her body ached at her not to stop—because the thought of the bed returned to her, and she decided it would be much more comfortable for what she had in mind. For fuck's sake, they weren't matrons anymore.

"Bed. Now," Aethyta mumbled into Nezzy's neck.

The low, almost guttural "Mmm" that came as Nezzy's response sent another hot jolt between Aethyta's legs, so she wasted no time making up the short distance to the bedroom.

Once there, Aethyta directed Nezzy to lie back on the pillows at the head of the bed, slightly propped up. Nezzy quickly complied, sitting up and spreading her legs. The sight sent a powerful wave of desire through Aethyta, knowing that it was all for her. Aethyta had almost forgotten that feelings could be that intense, that every inch of her body and soul could want something—someone—so badly.

Aethyta paused for a moment as she surveyed Nezzy's body, starting with the juncture between her thighs, which was glistening, open, ready. Aethyta ran a slow, steady finger through the wetness there, sending a shudder through Nezzy's body as her eyes fluttered shut. Aethyta felt a rush of excitement knowing that she could still get that reaction from one simple touch.

Unable to resist, Aethyta thrust a finger past Nezzy's entrance quickly and without warning. She felt the surprised clench of muscle around her finger, but soon Nezzy tilted her hips, searching for deeper contact as another soft "Goddess" escaped her lips. Aethyta curled her finger once, hitting the exact spot she was looking for—as if no time at all had broken over a century's worth of practice—and she was rewarded this time by the low groan that came from deep inside Nezzy's chest. The noise made Aethyta desperately want to hear all of Nezzy's little noises: from the soft pants and sighs to the deep, throaty moans. And Aethyta could tell that Nezzy wanted more, too; that the lone finger wasn't filling her nearly enough.

But Aethyta liked the idea of making Nezzy wait, and besides, right now she still wanted to take in the view.

Doing her best to ignore the way Nezzy's inner muscles clenched around her, Aethyta slipped her finger out, instead bringing it to trail through the moisture on Nezzy's upper thigh, evidence of Aethyta's own arousal. She took the time to enjoy the silky smooth feeling as she let her eyes wander.

Aethyta settled more comfortably between Nezzy's legs, but even as she moved her eyes slowly over the rest of her body, she barely noticed the way Nezzy had stilled. The truth was, Aethyta had become slightly distracted: the blue of Nezzy's skin, still only slightly faded with age, the curve of her hip, the sweeping line of her waist… it was all so familiar, and yet… Aethyta couldn't help but think that the last time she'd seen her like this, spread out before her, Nezzy'd been pregnant, so had looked quite a bit different.

Damn. The last time they'd had sex. Aethyta hadn't thought about that in a while. Not that it was a bad memory, really. Mostly it was just that, all things considered, it had been a pretty unremarkable fuck.

Aethyta has always prided herself on being a versatile lover, and she wasn't ashamed to admit that sometimes that meant being expedient. That last time she and Nezzy had been together, that was exactly what they both had needed: quick release. Nezzy had lain fully back, her nightgown still on but shoved up, the swell of her belly half exposed to the air. Aethyta's pace had been unrelenting, her fingers curling before plunging deeper, each thrust accented by the heel of her palm pressing into Nezzy's clit without variation. There had been no passion, no playfulness, no teasing. It had been efficient, the sheer pace making up for any lack of real effort or applied skill. And it hadn't been long before Aethyta dragged them both into a quick, soulless meld so that they both could get off with the least amount of work. And that night, it had been enough. Afterwards, Aethyta had quickly drifted off to sleep to the sound of the deep even breaths of Nezzy sleeping beside her.

But if Aethyta had known…

If it hadn't been obvious to her already, Aethyta realised in that moment that it was actually a pretty big deal that it wasn't just anyone who walked through her apartment door tonight. It was Nezzy.

Aethyta ran her hand across Nezzy's smooth, flat stomach as she looked up and their eyes locked. She figured this would usually be the time when she should say something dirty to really get Nezzy going (or at least get a playful eye roll). But her mind was drawing a blank, and all she really knew was that she would take tonight slow, so she could do all those things she wished she'd done that night, that last time. Give her a fuck she'll remember. Remind her what she's missing.

And somewhere deep inside, Aethyta knew that she wanted to savour this time for herself, too.


	6. Chapter 6: Benezia

**[Warning: ****SMUT continued****.** But it is, I think, mitigated by Benezia's inner thoughts**]**

Why did Aethyta have to look at her like that? Benezia had been able to lose herself so easily in the feeling of hands tugging at her clothes, grabbing her flesh, the feeling of lips on her breasts and hot breath on her neck. She had gladly allowed those sensations to overwhelm her and silence, at least for a time, the clutter of guilt and regret that was running through her mind.

But then, after those few brief touches just where Benezia needed them most, Aethyta had stopped. And she had looked.

At first, as Benezia watched Aethyta's eyes roam her body, she thought (or perhaps hoped) that the look contained nothing more than base wants and desires.

But as Aethyta looked up and their eyes met, Benezia could see a yearning in them that conveyed much more than just lust. In fact, Benezia knew that look; once upon a time, it would have made her heart melt. There was a hopefulness to it that spoke of so many a whispered promise and tender caress. And behind even that, Benezia thought she still saw true affection, and perhaps even love.

Benezia surely didn't deserve to be looked at like that.

Soon, Aethyta leaned in close, her lips working softly and slowly as she began to trail kisses down Benezia's chest. But it seemed not to matter; even as Benezia was left gazing at the top of Aethyta's crest, the look somehow remained, staring at her like an accusation, boring into her soul.

Benezia closed her eyes and willed it to stop. She wanted her mind to return to that state of blissful ignorance, where any awareness of the pain and heartache she had caused was easily drowned out by mounting need and promises of pleasure. And so she focused once more on physical sensations: on the feeling of breath passing over sensitive skin left moist by lips and tongue; on the feeling of fingertips digging into her hips as those lips travelled to the crease where her thigh and body meet.

And it wasn't long before Benezia could feel her own body respond once again. She felt the muscles of her lower abdomen quiver under Aethyta's light touch. She felt the slight tingle of anticipation on her skin as lips brushed lightly by. And when Aethyta began to trail kisses up her inner thigh—even if only to retreat—she gladly allowed the warmth and wetness to build once again between her legs. Without question, this was one thing that Aethyta always got right.

And when Benezia opened her eyes, for a moment she saw the Aethyta of old, and more importantly, she felt like her old self, too. And it was just the two of them, making love. It could easily be one of those rare days when they both got out of their other commitments and were able to spend real time together. Perhaps they'd spent the night out—at a skyball game or vid, something simple and sweet.

Benezia stroked Aethyta's crest, allowing her fingers to slip amongst the peaks and tease the rough, textured flesh there in long, even strokes. The soft grunt the motion coaxed from Aethyta made Benezia's whole body pulse.

Aethyta then wrapped her hands around Benezia's upper thighs, gently easing them further apart, and Benezia found herself relaxing and she allowed her legs to fall open completely, comforted by Aethyta's steady grip. Those long, violet fingers felt so familiar and strong and Benezia reached for them, running her own fingers along their lengths and across the smooth bumps that marred Aethyta's knuckles, riddled as they were with long-since-healed scars.

Aethyta dipped her tongue briefly into Benezia's entrance, just enough to taste her and more than enough to leave Benezia wanting. Seeming to savour the taste on her tongue, she looked up with heavy eyelids, looking quite content and clearly in no rush.

As Benezia returned the gaze, she felt only an inkling of impatience before feeling something tug at her heart in an odd, twisting way. But she barely had time to place it before it was gone, whisked away as Aethyta brought her focus back between her thighs. Aethyta tasted her once again before placing a simple kiss just above Benezia's sensitive bundle of nerves. Benezia couldn't stop her hips from rocking forward, seeking more contact. But Aethyta's mouth simply continued its unhurried exploration, carefully avoiding Benezia's most sensitive spots, but all the while remaining tantalizingly close. It was a teasing game, but one that wasn't unkind.

Benezia sighed into the sensation of Aethyta's mouth finally reaching its mark. And goddess, what a mouth. It was soft and gentle and Benezia could feel her heart swell. It never ceased to amaze her that Aethyta, who would (and has) headbutt a krogan and could (and has) curse and swear a pack of vorcha into submission, trusted Benezia with such a vulnerable side of herself so rarely experienced by others.

As Aethyta softly took her sensitive ridge between her lips and sucked, the pressure of her tongue added in slow, measured pulses, it was all Benezia could do not to push herself right then and there into Aethyta's mind. She wanted to _feel _her. She wanted to be completely immersed in her consciousness, unable and unwilling to know where her own self ends and Aethyta begins.

Benezia was usually the one who would initiate their melds early, wanting to spend as much time as possible within each other as they slowly built towards climax. Despite the fact that Aethyta would sometimes complain—loudly—that she 'couldn't focus' even in the shallow beginnings of a meld, Benezia knew that it was mostly for show, and that Aethyta actually preferred it, too.

But Benezia knew that tonight there would be no such complaints, real or in jest. And she wanted to take every bit of Aethyta's gentleness and return it in kind, so she decided to ease into the meld as slowly as possible. She ran her hands down Aethyta's arms, lightly massaging her reassurance as she began to relax her mind, preparing to reach out. She allowed her hand to graze gently over Aethyta's wrist, reaching for, as she sometimes did, that simple piece of jewelry that even as a matron (when she was supposed to have cared about such things) she hadn't believed could ever hold so much meaning—

But it was gone. Of course it was gone.

And with that, the illusion shattered. Benezia became painfully aware that they were not in _their_ bed, but Aethyta's, in an apartment she had never seen before this very evening. They no longer shared their lives, and that was a decision she alone had made.

Aethyta's mouth was working more earnestly now, but Benezia just lay there and blinked at the ceiling, feeling a cold emptiness take hold of her heart. She closed her eyes again for a moment, not daring to cry, and finally, she whispered, "Please, stop."


	7. Chapter 7: Aethyta

"What?" Aethyta said, sitting up, looking slightly confused as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. At first she'd thought she'd heard wrong; 'stop' wasn't a word she was used to hearing from Nezzy.

Nezzy didn't answer right away, but she didn't have to. All it took was one look at Nezzy's face for Aethyta to realise that she had heard right. And she could tell it wasn't the type of 'stop' that you could just playfully push past. Not by a long shot.

"Fuck," Aethyta said. But she could feel her eyes starting to sting, and wasn't about to give Nezzy that satisfaction, so she gritted her teeth and turned to get out of bed.

She didn't look back as she walked out to the kitchen and slumped onto the stool and scrubbed her face with her hands. Her own wetness felt cold and uncomfortable against the stool, like an insult added on top of everything else.

One of the glasses on the counter was still partly full, and so she downed it before filling it once more.

Even though Aethyta might not have been any less drunk, the haze of lust was effectively cleared from her mind, and she was left feeling like a complete idiot. No, a completely pathetic idiot.

Aethyta couldn't believe that she had actually tried to be with Nezzy as she once had been—as if they were still some hopelessly lovesick couple on their bond ceremony night. _Idiot. _Whatever this was—why ever Nezzy had shown up tonight—Aethyta should have known that it wasn't for that; it wasn't for love. _Pathetic._

Aethyta should have just fucked Nezzy good and hard and let that be that. Or she should have chucked Nezzy out the second she showed up at her door. No, better, Aethyta should have gotten herself off nice and quick and then chucked her out.

Aethyta cursed under her breath and took another drink from her glass—this time a small sip because her head was swimming a little and she told herself it must be the booze.

Nezzy sure had a way of kicking you right in the quad. The day Nezzy left, Aethyta had found herself saying the same chant, _pathetic idiot. _Not that she hadn't seen it coming—not only in the fights they would have, but also in the silence, the distance.

And she knew that Nezzy had ambitions. And she could see that she was getting in the way.

But still. Coming home to that empty house with no Nezzy—not even any of her lackeys that were always hanging around—was a little unexpected. Aethyta had actually wandered through the house from room to room, as if she would find Nezzy hiding away somewhere, or remember that she was actually on some business trip or other. _Idiot._

But when she'd found the bracelet… well. It hardly counted as a real goodbye, but Aethyta knew. Considering how Nezzy would pester her whenever she forgot to wear her own damn bracelet… Aethyta just knew.

She knew and yet she had hung around Armali—in that same old house—for years. As if Nezzy would just show up one day. _Pathetic. _She tried to tell herself, again, that a few years wasn't even that long when you were nearly a thousand years old, but it didn't help.

Aethyta guessed that she just thought that Nezzy would have at least wanted to work things out for the sake of their daughter. It hadn't even been that long before then that they had decided to have a kid.

Well, Nezzy had decided, and Aethyta had agreed.

Shit. Aethyta just didn't know anymore. She had thought that she had even gotten over Nezzy, finally. But then she shows up and then…

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nezzy silhouetted in the doorway of the bedroom down the hall. Aethyta turned her head slightly to avoid the view. She figured Nezzy could find her own dress—no doubt somewhere in the hall—and sneak out without another word. Nezzy was obviously good at that, and this time, Aethyta might actually appreciate the silence.

She was surprised, then, when she felt a warm hand on her back and turned to see Nezzy standing right next to her, still very much naked.


	8. Chapter 8: Benezia

Benezia had finally summoned enough composure to get herself out of Aethyta's bed, but seeing her former bondmate sitting hunched over the tiny kitchen counter nearly undid it all. The brief thought of grabbing her things and running flashed through her mind, as did the absurd hope that if she just went back to the bed she might be able to melt into the bedspread, finding some sort of comfort in the idea of a world in which she had only to deal with the inanimate.

But Benezia forced herself to walk on, ignoring the way Aethyta wouldn't look at her, because she wanted in some sort of way to make this right. As she came to a stand beside Aethyta at the counter, Benezia reached out, placing a hand on her former bondmate's back.

"I didn't ask you to come here," Aethyta said, her voice plaintive more than angry, and Benezia wondered if that made it worse. "Fuck, Nezzy. What was this?"

Benezia let her hand drop from Aethyta's back and she looked around the tiny kitchen as if she might find the answer to that question hidden amongst the pots and pans. She hadn't fully realised before coming here tonight that she still desired Aethyta as much as she did, and she'd had very little time to predict that her own guilt would outweigh that desire at the worst possible moment. She really couldn't think of what to say.

"You just show up and then—" Aethyta continued after a short pause.

"I know," Benezia said with a sigh, not wanting Aethyta to fully finish that sentence.

"Yeah, I bet. You always do," Aethyta muttered with some of the anger that was missing before.

Benezia bit back the _what is that supposed to mean _that she could feel already forming at the back of her throat. She hated how their conversations could often descend so quickly into meaningless jabs and senseless clichés.

Benezia remained quiet, knowing that she was long past her capacity for an argument. She felt tired but on edge, and somewhat beyond rational thought—something that only seemed to happen to her when she was with Aethyta.

In her work, Benezia could easily debate policy issues or fiscal budgets for hours with calm determination, regardless of how frustrating or trying her opponents might be; even on matters that meant a great deal to her, she still had the ability to remain reasonable and composed.

It was a calmness born of a confidence that was built over centuries of tireless, self-conscious practice, which was perhaps why it was also a trait that had never fully manifested itself in her personal life. She had _planned_ for politics, for serving her people in what she felt was a tangible, meaningful way. Her personal life, however, had never really been included in that planning.

Always very social, Benezia had nevertheless found it difficult to devote time and energy to building relationships that didn't seem to serve some sort of greater purpose. For all the time she spent—and enjoyed— with others, she had been content, for the most part, with only the occasional, casual (albeit well-vetted) lover.

That is, until Aethyta. And Benezia certainly hadn't planned for that.

Perhaps if she had, a part of Benezia would say, their relationship wouldn't have ended in such failure; perhaps she wouldn't have felt so ill-equipped to handle a depth and breadth of emotion within herself that she had all but forgotten existed. Over the course of the past century, she had found herself wishing on a number of occasions that she had experienced a more typical maiden- and matronhood, if only so that she could have been more prepared.

But, as it was, she had only been in love exactly once—and it was with the naked, slouching asari now sitting next to her.

Benezia still waited for Aethyta to speak, trusting her own judgement even less than when she had walked in the door. But she hated seeing Aethyta like this. Perhaps that was why, a decade ago, she had left as she did, unwilling to confront the face that now, even with all those years to lessen the immediacy of the sorrow Benezia felt, still broke her heart.

But Benezia hadn't really meant to wait _this_ long before seeing Aethyta again. It was true that at first, after leaving, she had gladly busied herself with the logistics of reopening one of the old T'Soni estates, making it an acceptable home for herself, her acolytes, and her unborn daughter. Benezia had never really needed the house that she and Aethyta had bought together; they'd only bought it because they'd liked the idea of their home being completely shared. Perhaps it really was just another measure of avoidance, but at the time, leaving the house with Aethyta felt to Benezia like some sort of repentance for what she was doing, for leaving her as she did. And anyways, organising her new life kept Benezia's days full enough that she hadn't had to think too much about Aethyta at all.

But soon enough, Benezia had given birth, and when she had looked down upon the tiny baby feeding at her breast for the first time, a part of her couldn't help but wish Aethyta was there. But even though it pained her to admit it, in that moment, Benezia also somehow knew that she had done the right thing. When she thought of raising her daughter and continuing her career (which in some cases meant making up for ground lost because of her relationship with Aethyta), she simply couldn't imagine it with things the way they were. So still, she avoided seeing Aethyta; if Benezia had done what was right, then what would there be left to say?

Although Aethyta had never been far from her thoughts since then, it wasn't until, years later, when one of her acolytes had given her the news that Aethyta had left Armali, that Benezia had finally gone back to their old house, Liara on her hip. She hadn't wanted to believe that Aethyta was gone. For some reason, she had suddenly felt like she'd missed an opportunity she'd neither known she'd had nor wanted.

The house had been almost exactly as she'd remembered it—except that it was clear Aethyta had been living out of one of the guest bedrooms (which they had rarely used), the kitchen was filthy, and all the houseplants were dead.

And as she took it all in, Benezia had wanted more than anything for Aethyta to just walk in the door. Funny, in a wry sort of way, how it was only with the knowledge that Aethyta was gone that Benezia had finally felt ready to face her.

And here Benezia was, finally getting that chance, and she was wasting it.

"Did you really think I'd be that much of a crap dad?" Aethyta asked suddenly.

Benezia winced. "It's not about that. It was never about that—" she said.

"—Because I know that I could've been a better mom to my own daughters, but that was centuries ago—"

"Don't do that to yourself," Benezia said. She paused a moment to look over at Aethyta, who was staring despondently at her glass. "Your daughters are as kind, courteous, and generous as any mother could hope for," she said when Aethyta didn't react.

In the most basic way, Benezia wanted to make Aethyta happy, and she no longer wanted to waste this time she had. So although Benezia wasn't known for her comedic timing, she ventured further: "Of course…" she said, trying to lighten the mood, "it helps that their father was hanar." A little sheepishly, she playfully nudged Aethyta' s side with her hip as she gave her what she hoped was a gently teasing smile.

Benezia was grateful that her little attempt at a joke was met with a light, if brief, laugh. "Make fun all you want, Nezzy, but it's true," she said. "Just you wait til Liara headbutts a teacher or something, then we'll talk."

They both let Aethyta's words hang in the air, each passing moment making their smiles fade further into sadness. Benezia realised that it was the first time she had heard Aethyta say their daughter's name out loud.

"I'm sorry," Benezia whispered, shaking her head.

And she was sorry. She was sorry that she had failed to make their relationship work; sorry for the way she had left, for depriving Aethyta a part in their daughter's life. And, perhaps most of all, she was sorry because she knew that none of that would change. She knew, as she had for some time, that she couldn't give Aethyta any of the things she wanted: a bondmate, a daughter, a home.

"I'm sorry, " she said once again. She wasn't sure if Aethyta could possibly know all of what she meant by those words, but Aethyta looked at her with eyes so sad, she couldn't be far off.

"Nezzy…" Aethyta said, as she turned slightly where she sat. She looked as though she was about to say something, but instead she simply reached out a tentative hand and placed it on Benezia's hip. She hesitated a moment before sliding her hand to the small of Benezia's back to pull her close. The motion was uncertain, cautious, and so completely vulnerable that Benezia couldn't help but allow it. As Aethyta wrapped her arms around her waist, Benezia took another step closer, her thighs lightly touching the edge of the stool as she stood between Aethyta's legs. She felt the warmth of Aethyta's breath on her breasts as she drew her in. Beginning to trace little patterns of nothing against Aethyta's back with the very ends of her fingertips, she looked down to see Aethyta's eyes tightly shut, her head pillowed against Benezia's own chest. She watched as Aethyta just breathed.


	9. Chapter 9: Aethyta

Aethyta wanted to ask when she would be able to see their daughter. She didn't, though. Not because she still thought this was some sort of game to see who would break first, but because there was something in the way that Nezzy looked at her that made her afraid to ask. Maybe if Aethyta had been more enthusiastic in the planning stages—not that she'd needed much convincing, but when she had first realised that Nezzy, with all her smarts, wanted to spend the last few centuries of life with her, Aethyta just hadn't seen some rugrat bouncing off the walls as part of that picture.

She regretted saying anything against the idea now, though. Really, it didn't take long for Aethyta to be completely sold on it. The galaxy deserved a daughter of Nezzy's. And Aethyta certainly hadn't lacked enthusiasm once they had started trying, which took a little longer than usual given the whole matriarch thing—it wasn't like being a matron, when you could just slip into someone's mind any old day, get a little carried away and pop out a screaming bundle of blue eighteen months later.

But there was something about that initial hesitation that made Aethyta hold back on any demands to see their girl now.

As Aethyta sat trying to bury her face in Nezzy's breasts, with Nezzy's arms around her, she was also a little afraid to ask about their kid because she didn't want to break the strange sense of comfort that was slowly overcoming her.

Over the course of the past ten years, Aethyta had spent a lot of time trying not to think about how she would feel and what she would say to Nezzy if she saw her again.

In the course of not thinking about it, Aethyta definitely hadn't thought that she would be pissed off. Certainly, she hadn't pictured some big screaming match where she would tell Nezzy just how pissed she hadn't thought she'd be. And the screaming match she hadn't pictured definitely wouldn't end with Nezzy a snivelling mess begging for forgiveness. Definitely not.

But even with having thought about it as much as Aethyta hadn't, she was still surprised that that screaming match never took place, and that she in fact felt strangely comforted as she now sat there in Nezzy's arms.

But it was true. Her ego was bruised and her head was thick with booze, but the sound of Nezzy's heartbeat and the feeling of Nezzy's hands on her back felt more reassuring than she'd ever thought they would (not that she'd thought about it). It reminded Aethyta of any number of nights when she would come home, maybe after a day of wasting her breath arguing with some of the other matriarchs as another one of her ideas became the latest joke, or maybe after the group of commandos that she was supposed to be teaching a bit about life would take her out and drink her under the table—something that happened way too often, but she was damned if a bunch of maidens less than half her age would dare think of her as a lightweight. Aethyta would crawl into bed, tangle her feet with Nezzy's to warm them up—to only the occasional complaint—and then she would curl up against those magnificent tits, and she and Nezzy would talk. And Aethyta would feel just a little less useless and a little less old.

In all the time Aethyta spent trying not to think about this day, she would have actually been surprised to know that it would feel like that.

Aethyta breathed in Nezzy's scent and held on tightly to her waist. She thought about those nights as she let the tension ease from her neck and shoulders.

"I miss you."

Shit. Aethyta really didn't mean to say that out loud. She attempted to ignore the sudden pounding of her own heart as she tried to bury her head even further into Nezzy's chest. Nezzy seemed to freeze, her fingertips stopping their gentle exploration of Aethyta's back, and Aethyta wondered if this night could get any worse.

"I—I miss you too, but—" Nezzy started.

"Yeah, I get it," Aethtya cut in. This wasn't a please-take-me-back-I've-made-a-huge-mistake visit. That was pretty clear. Aethyta didn't need Nezzy thinking that that's what she wanted it to be. Because she didn't. ...shit.

"It all just became too much. We weren't—I mean, I had responsibilities—"

"I said I get it!" Aethyta said quickly. _Responsibilities_. She knew what Nezzy meant. She had always thought the powerful politician thing Nezzy had going was damn sexy, but Aethyta really didn't like the idea of being bested by a job.

"I don't wanna hear about how a bunch of brainless pyjaks take up all your time," Aethyta said.

"Our people are not a bunch of brainless pyjaks."

"I was talking about the Matriarchy."

Nezzy took a slight step away from Aethyta to look her in the eyes, although she kept her hands where they were, frozen. "You know that there's a serious lack of matriarchs willing to fight for any sort of real change. They need me," she said.

"_I_ need you," Aethyta said with a growl. Her hands slid down Nezzy's hips as she let her head fall back between Nezzy's breasts. Resting her elbows on her knees, Aethyta dug her fingers into the backs of Nezzy's upper thighs as she let out another growl of frustration. And she had actually thought that the night couldn't get any worse.


	10. Chapter 10: Benezia

**[Warning: ****SMUT. **Also, (unrelated) I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Thank you all for reading, and I also wanted to say a big thanks to Sarroush for beta reading these last few chapters :) **]**

Benezia felt like crying. "I-"

"Don't. You don't have to say anything," Aethyta mumbled into Benezia's stomach.

"I just can't," she finished anyway.

Benezia felt Aethyta relax the grip she had on her thighs, somehow with a new sense of resignation.

Benezia wanted to make Aethyta feel better, and somehow knowing that she ultimately couldn't, made that want turn into a sudden need. She _needed_ to make Aethyta feel good. Tonight. Right now. Before she might never again have the chance. She nearly laughed at where her mind went almost immediately. But were they still together, and were this any one of their usual fights, she knew exactly how she would go about trying to do that.

Using sex as a salve was something they did far too often when they were together. As if it could mute their heated words and flared tempers; make up for all those dinners cancelled because something more important came up; or somehow reaffirm that intangible something that seemed lost somewhere along the blur of decades gone by.

Benezia was never really sure if it was right for them to so obviously try to fix their problems with something that they must have both known could never offer anything more than a tenuous illusion of resolution. But it certainly always felt right when she was wrapped in Aethyta's arms as they lay together in bed, all their troubles washed away by their hazy afterglow.

Suddenly, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. She tried not to think about how their first attempt at sex of the evening was less than successful. She didn't even bother trying to rationalise that this time would be different—that the transparency of their need and the self-conscious awareness of the complete failure of their relationship at least might help mitigate the potential for hazardous delusions. She didn't rationalise, because she didn't have to; the idea simply felt right.

She only vaguely thought about how easy it was to fall back into old habits as she began to rake her nails gently over the sensitive ridges at the back of Aethyta's neck. She started at the base and slowly made her way up. She could feel Aethyta tense up slightly, her grip tightening again at the back of Benezia's thighs.

"Nezzy, don't torture me," Aethyta said, although she rolled her forehead against Benezia's chest, trying to expose more of her neck to Benezia's searching fingers.

"Let me make you feel good," Benezia said quietly, the words sounding bizarre even to herself.

Aethyta stopped squirming under Benezia's touch as she sat in thought. But Benezia could feel Aethyta's breath pick up at the suggestion, her every exhale brushing lightly against Benezia's stomach. Aethyta then brought a finger to run gently along the inside of Benezia's thigh, almost distractedly, although Benezia still had to hide the slight hitch in her own breath that was triggered by the simple touch.

"Is that what you want?" Benezia prompted further when she got no reply, her fingers having finally reached that spot at the base of Aethyta's skull.

Aethyta pulled Benezia even closer once again, groaning softly before looking up. "Yeah," was her one word response.

A wide range of emotions hit Benezia at once upon hearing that one simple word. She was surprised that relief was the prevailing one, even though doubt was still lurking in the background. She wondered if this was a bad idea at the same time she felt grateful that it seemed to be working.

Aethyta pulled her in for a kiss. It was needy and sloppy, but Benezia felt her body awaken with want, followed quickly by a sobering flash of worry.

"This... can't mean anything more than it is," Benezia said as she pulled away for a second. The sentence felt dark and twisted as each syllable formed around her lips and tongue, and she could only hope that it sounded less so. Nonetheless, she had to be sure.

Aethyta looked into her eyes and nodded.

As Benezia kept her fingers working that spot at the back of Aethyta's neck, she let her other hand idly wander the rest of Aethyta's body: across her collarbone and down her chest, then sweeping along the underside of one of her breasts to pause for a moment to trace light circles around her nipple. Benezia paid close attention to even the smallest noises issuing from Aethtya's lips.

There was something comforting in feeling Aethyta's body like this—knowing exactly where to go and for how long in order to coax out those low grunts that Aethyta would make just as she began to lose herself to pleasure. When her hand finally made its way between Aethyta's legs, Benezia wasn't the least bit surprised to find her clit already stiffened with arousal. As she began to tug at its hood, she felt Aethyta's fingers begin to unconsciously squeeze the flesh at the back of her upper thighs in a slow but regular rhythm. Benezia could feel herself getting wetter, but tried to push the sensation aside.

As Benezia's fingers ventured lower, Aethyta tilted her hips—she had to turn slightly so that the counter could provide some support, but she didn't seem to notice its hard edge digging into her back as Benezia dipped her fingers past her entrance. Benezia brought her newly wet fingers back to Aethyta's clit and began to rub insistent circles over its hard ridge.

"Fuuuck," Aethyta groaned as she pushed her hips into Benezia's hand.

Benezia kept her pace quick and tried not to get too lost in Aethyta's sudden need to touch every part of her body—grabbing, tugging, grasping at any skin available to her. But when Benezia felt Aethyta run a finger along her own slit, she felt a sudden spike of pleasure and quickly grabbed hold of Aethyta's hand with her own that had since abandoned that spot right below Aethyta's crest; Benezia didn't want this to be about her.

Aethyta didn't seem too deterred, but was content for a while to let her hands rest back on Benezia's hips, as she preoccupied herself instead with working her lips over Benezia's chest. Aethyta's attention to her breasts was something that never got old, but when Aethyta finally captured one of Benezia's nipples in her mouth, painting over its already hardened tip with warm swirls of her tongue, Benezia heard her own strangled cry of frustration. It was a noise she wasn't sure she had ever heard from herself, but she felt a sudden pang of anger at her complete inability to control her body's responses as she arched her back, pressing into the sensation. Aethyta knew her too well.

So before she let it go any further, Benezia stopped her own ministrations to push Aethyta back against the counter, completely ignoring her whimper of surprise and disappointment. Benezia pulled Aethyta's hips to the edge of the stool, and thrust two fingers into her wet folds.

Aethyta pulled her close, the muscles of her inner thighs trapping Benezia's hips. As Benezia continued to work her fingers, she could feel the occasional quiver from Aethyta's inner muscles. But it was Aethyta's noises that were intoxicating. Benezia savoured her own feelings of arousal as she listened to every grunt and groan she coaxed forth.

It wasn't long before Benezia could feel Aethyta's mind reaching out. At first, she thought she might be mistaken; Benezia hadn't thought that Aethyta would want the meld, after everything that has happened. She wasn't sure that she would, were she in Aethyta's position—to lay yourself bare in front of the soul that took and took only to leave you broken. And Benezia certainly had taken—there were still parts of Aethyta within her that she might have gladly given back if it would help Aethyta heal were they not now so precious to herself.

So she wanted to be sure she wasn't mistaken; she wanted to be sure this was what Aethyta wanted.

So Benezia felt for her. She had to be careful not to reach out herself; she wanted nothing more than to throw herself open completely and cling to Aethyta for as long as they could make the moment last. But instead, she just felt for her. Benezia brushed up against the edges of Aethyta's mind, trying to ignore the way her own heart started to flutter at the slight feeling of friction between two souls not quite yet in sync. She could also feel a slight shudder run through the body beneath her as Aethyta's biotics surged, surrounding them both in a crackling blue haze. It took Benezia all of her willpower to stop her own biotics from flaring in uncontrolled anticipation, but she managed to keep them in check, not wanting to seem overeager.

If that biotic display hadn't shown Benezia exactly what she wanted to know, by the time she grazed by Aethyta's mind once again, there was no longer any question: Benezia could feel Aethyta open and ready, reaching out slightly as her body responded to each mental touch. That realisation sent a throb of want through Benezia, and she was quickly forgetting any sense of hesitation she might have had.

She repeated the motion, this time pressing more firmly against Aethyta's natural barriers, but still without pushing past. Aethyta's breath accelerated, each inhale shaky but deep, and Benezia could taste the restraint Aethyta had summoned to stop herself from moving deeper as she toyed with the edges of Benezia's mind, tugging and pulling until, goddess help her, Benezia moaned.

Even on the surface, Benezia could feel want and desire soaking through the juncture that still separated Aethyta's mind from hers. And she had no doubt that Aethyta could feel the same. She dragged her own lust through Aethyta's with a slow steadiness that belied the mounting need she could feel at the base of her skull and between her own thighs. Aethyta grunted and her inner muscles clenched around Benezia's fingers as their mingled desires already took on their own combined form in the mental space between them.

Benezia increased the pace of her fingers as she drew back slightly from initiating the meld. She wanted to make this last and knew that if they melded right now, it would all be over far too soon. She was unused to feeling so out of control with only the briefest hints of a meld, and thought that perhaps she could ground Aethyta once again in the physical to give herself time to regain some composure. But the reaction was immediate: Benezia felt a sudden grip on her wrist and heard Aethyta take in a quick gasp.

"Fuck. Don't you dare stop," Aethyta rasped out against the side of Benezia's crest.

Stop? Benezia couldn't imagine such a foolish thing. She brought her forehead to rest on Aethyta's, and she looked into her eyes, all too aware of how much she wanted this as she inhaled short gasps of Aethyta's exhaled breath. Aethyta's hand was still gripping her wrist, but Benezia maintained her pace as she leaned in for another deep, desperate kiss.

Aethyta sent a pulse of want that nearly joined them completely as she pushed Benezia's fingers even deeper inside her. As they continued to kiss, Benezia let go of any last fading strands of self- restraint and allowed her own biotics to rein free right alongside Aethyta's, the combined effect making every nerve in her body seem to tingle with anticipation.

And as their souls finally collided, Benezia cried out in pleasure, the sensation of Aethyta overwhelming her senses briefly but completely. She only became vaguely aware of the edge of the counter digging into Aethyta's back, and even the strain in the muscles of her own forearm suddenly seemed dulled. But she could feel her own fingers as they curled fast and hard, as well as the sensation of her breasts being squeezed and her nipples pinched and knew that it was the work of Aethyta's hands even though she could feel the weight of her breasts in her own. Benezia drew out groans from them both as her fingers continued to move and she finally added her thumb against Aethyta's clit in circles that were far from precise; but it didn't matter, because soon they moved deeper—goddess, it was never deep enough—and any distinctions between them faded completely.

Deeper still, they soon hurtled over the edge, and as muscles clenched and unclenched with every powerful wave that was sent through them, they barely heard their combined shouts that rang through the tiny apartment as their climax peaked.

They maintained as much of the meld as possible as the last few gentle spasms rolled through their bodies. Spent, but warm and comfortable, they collapsed into each other, their minds still joined as they caught their breath.

Coming down from the climax of a meld was always a slightly disorienting task, as one is forced to reacquaint oneself with the awareness of one's own body and thoughts. Although Benezia would have gladly spent the rest of the night in Aethyta's mind, she didn't linger any longer than was necessary to be sure that they both had a sufficient awareness of their respective selves; she knew that any such lingering inevitably draws out emotions and memories that are clear and identifiable in a way that would never be possible at the height of the meld. Benezia wasn't sure if she was afraid of what she might find in Aethyta or what Aethyta might find in herself, but she didn't want to risk anything that might jeopardise this moment. So she withdrew as gently as possible, trying to send one last wave of reassurance and love as she closed off her mind.

Benezia became suddenly aware of the cold sheen of sweat that had broken out across her back as well as the ache in her forearm and wrist. Aethyta still had her back against the counter, and had brought her elbows back to help prop herself up. Her eyes were closed, and she had let her head fall back, relaxed, as her breathing gradually returned to normal. Benezia withdrew her fingers slowly and then began to stretch them against the palm of her other hand. Aethyta made a noise somewhere between a hum and a groan as she lifted her head to look at Benezia, who was still standing between her legs.

Benezia watched her carefully, and was a little surprised when Aethyta broke out into a wide grin. The grin was infectious, and Benezia found herself smiling back, suddenly feeling unnaturally happy.

And as Benezia continued rolling out her wrist, and Aethyta stretched out her back, squeezing her shoulder blades together a few times, they laughed.


	11. Chapter 11: Aethyta (Epilogue)

Aethyta was in bed, alone. She sprawled out, taking up as much of the bed as possible and let out a heaving sigh. But it wasn't a bad sigh.

Her head felt heavy but so did her legs, so all in all, not a bad night. She decided that she might as well try to get some sleep, even though by the time Nezzy left, it was so close to morning that there hardly seemed any point. Aethyta chuckled to herself as she thought about Nezzy trying to deliver her paper in the morning on no sleep. 'The ethics of institutionalising interspecies learning in early education,' Nezzy had said. Aethyta really didn't miss those conferences.

She closed her eyes and waited for either sleep or the morning sun, whichever came first. She might have even been dozing slightly when her omni-tool beeped a few times. Reaching across the full length of the bed, she quickly checked her messages. There was only one, but it was from Nezzy. It had no subject and no text once she opened it, and Aethyta thought Nezzy might have sent it by mistake. Until she saw the attachment. She opened it and up popped a holo of a sleeping child. The kid had dark markings above her eyes, and a soft light patterning on her undeveloped crest. Goddess, she looked like her mother.

Aethyta didn't close the holo, but she placed her omni-tool on the bedside table. Lying on her stomach, she rest her cheek on her hands so that she could still see the small picture of the sleeping girl. And by the time her omni-tool blinked out, Aethyta was already being overtaken by the gentle haziness of sleep.

She never did ask Nezzy when she could meet Liara. But there was a part of Aethyta that thought that maybe this visit wouldn't be the last of its kind. _Maybe next time_, she thought.

END


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